Wednesday, October 04, 2006

2006年10月4日

虽然大奶彬不准我叫她大奶彬,但在我心中她还是大奶彬,所以在我的日记里,她还是叫大奶彬。

今天发生了一件事,是值得记录下来的。

学校有一位叫陈素莲的女老师,是我们的数学老师。因为她,我和大奶彬都极度痛恨数学。我们给她取了个外号,叫老莲,是老虎莲的简称。老莲虽然瘦瘦的,而且很矮,但她的声音是出了名的大又尖,她在四楼骂人,在一楼的学生都听得到。

如果有人忘记做数学工课,就肯定完蛋了。老莲会把那个人叫出来,然后在全班面前对着他大骂,“你很忙吗?忙到没时间做我的功课?还是你太笨了?笨到这么容易的习题也不会做?好啊!既然你的数学这么差,我就多给你五十题练习,下课后到我办公室来做!”班上有两位同学曾经被罚过,一个是Cool gang的老大Benny,另一个是伟胜,班上出了名的懒惰虫。他们之后,就再也没有人敢不做数学功课了。

老莲还很喜欢在上课的时候突击我们。突击的意思,就是她讲课讲到一半,突然问一个问题,然后选一个受害者回答。所以我们上课时都不能发呆,更不能睡觉,一定要很专心地听老莲讲的每一句话。最糟糕的是,我们都很怕被叫到回答问题,所以很自然的会想要低下头,可是如果老莲看到有人低头,就一定会叫他回答问题。

老莲叫人的方式很吓人,她不叫我们的名字,而是举起右手用食指对准目标,然后大喊,“你说!”而不幸被选中的人必须正确回答问题,否则休想坐下。老莲不但凶,还很没耐性,如果被叫到的人不能在30秒内回答问题,她就会说,“好,那你就继续站,直到你有能力回答一个问题为止。”然后,全班又开始惶恐,因为又有人要遭殃了。

虽然老莲真的是我们最最讨厌的老师,但,很奇妙地,被她教的学生没有一个数学不及格。去年,我的数学成绩简直是一塌糊涂,但自从今年在老莲的严格训练下,我在数学方面的表现竟然进步了。所以,对于老莲,我是又爱又恨,即尊敬又害怕。

今天休息过后的第一节课就是数学。全班提早5分钟回到课室,乖乖坐着,安静地等待老莲。上课铃声一响,老莲面无表情地走进课室,全班起立向她行礼。她照常把书本放在桌子上,开始讲课。今天要复习的是sine, cosine, tangent,老莲便转身把三个方程式写在黑板上。她一转身,全班吓了一跳。

可能是因为上课前老莲刚上厕所,没把裙子拉好,她的裙脚一部分被夹在内裤的裤头,大腿和半边臀部一目了然!有人忍不住笑出声来,幸好老莲忙着讲课,没听见。天才庆还不知道发生什么事,一脸懵懂地看着我。我指向老莲,他一看到眼前的“景色”,马上低下头盖住眼睛。坐前面的同学有的很不自在地往别地方看,尽量不看老莲,有的却幸灾乐祸地捂着嘴巴捧着肚子偷笑。

其实,我也觉得蛮好笑的,因为老莲穿的内裤和她的形象一点也不符合。是一条粉红色的蕾丝内裤,还有紫色花边呢。可是我认为把快乐建筑在别人的痛苦上是不对的,所以觉得不应该笑。

老莲写完方程式,就转身过来问,“sine方程式里的H代表什么?”平时我们都很专心听课,应该能回答这个简单的问题,但今天因为突发状况所以大家都没注意听,自然也不知道答案了。还没来得及翻课本找答案,我就听见老莲喊,“你说!”抬头一看,她指的人…是我!糟糕!答案是什么?

幸好天才庆够义气,在桌子低下轻轻捏了我一把,然后用手指在课本上指出答案,我才正确回答,“Hypotenuse”。老莲听了很满意,便叫我坐下。可是我没坐下。我有时会这样,心里有一种很强烈的使命感,觉得应该做的事,我会很固执,不知天高地厚一定要做到。在这样的情况下,我会失去所有理智,感觉上好象灵魂出qiao4般,我可以看见自己在做什么,却没办法控制。我不知道这是否正常。不过,当老莲叫我坐下时,我听见自己对她说,“老师,你的裙子没拉好。”

我可以感觉到全班同学摒住呼吸,在那一刻周围的空气都停止流动了。老莲双眼睁大看着我,很惊讶。过了可能5秒吧,她回过神,用手摸了摸自己的裙,很从容地把裙拉好后,对我说,“谢谢,你可以坐下了。”

我坐下后,天才庆递了一张字条给我,上面写着,“你想死啊?不过,真的很佩服你的勇气。”

其实,我并不觉得我这样做需要很多勇气。我只不过把自己放在老莲的立场,想象自己的裙子被夹住,我也会希望有人赶快通知我,而不是在我背后笑,或当作没看到,让我继续走光,继续出糗。这不是很自然的一种想法吗?

数学课结束前,老莲在全班面前对我说了一句话,让我很惊讶又有点开心又有点不好意思。“林晓芬同学,你乐于助人的精神是很珍贵的,好好利用它,让自己成为其他同学的学习榜样。”
哇。真不敢相信老莲会这样称赞我。其实,她虽然是有点怪,但也算是不错的老师啦。要不然,每年教师节怎么会有这么多毕业多年的学生回来探望她,送她礼物呢?

3 comments:

PiNkPiG said...

I also got one teacher like tat.He teach us english.His name is Mr Jack Tan.If we nvr do homework or nvr hand in,he will tell us to stay back after sch and copy down the hw we nvr do or hand in.The ppl tat r always punished r my class coolgang

Anonymous said...

Hee..
Really like your story but never manage to catch it live on radio. How come the podcast only broadcast the day's show? How I wish to be able to listen to the previous entries.. Cos reading so many entries at one go is very tiring.
It would be the best if all previous entries are available in mp3 format. Then I can download it onto my mp3 player & listen to them on my 1h+ bus trips to & from work. Maybe you guys can give this idea some thought? *dreaming* ;p

**********

Opps.. Stray from the topic.
Yup, your teacher made me think of my JC Bio teacher.

He he.. Attending her class is like treading on thin ice...
All of us are also very afraid of her asking us questions. But she is notorious for asking sudden questions that requires a lot of thinking. Attending her lesson givws us frequent heart attacks. *tremble*

I still remember the times we were to draw pictures of the cells as seen from our microscopes. This is actually a very common task BUT cell drawings are really tough to draw.
Especially when this particular teacher is the one supervising us.
Her requirement is that we are to draw as accurately as possible from what we see.
Eg. cell membranes are found very near to cell walls. So, we have to draw TWO lines very close to each other. Note that it is TWO lines & they cannot be more than 1.5mm apart. Further, if the chloroplast occupies 1/3 of the cell in the microscope, then it should only occupy 1/3 of the cell you draw too.
Hence, I normally would spend a good 1/2h (whole lesson = 2h) on drawing ONE cell only. (We are supposed to draw 2-3 cells per specimen + we normally observe 2 specimen per lab).

This teacher will go around checking our drawings while we were at it.
If she thinks your drawing is different from what she see in your microscope, then SHE will personally erase your precious drawing away & demand that you redraw.
Under her requirements, it is not unusual that our paper got erase till a hole develop right in the middle of the paper.

No, the paper is NOT those lousy quality ones but something like those Double A printing paper (er.. I am NOT helping Double A advertise their paper. ;p).

But ya, my JC bio results got better cos of her drilling. So I'm grateful. :)

PS: I don't know about your Maths teacher, but my Bio teacher is actually very friendly & approachable outside of school. So, guess we can only say that she knows what she want & how to make it happen ba? ;)

tiramiswu said...

灵魂出鞘:þ