Monday, July 02, 2007

星期一,多云

撕破的照片,已经用胶片修补好了。我不再把照片收在钱包里,而是把它和那份没送给Ah Toot的礼物收在宿舍书桌的抽屉里。

自从上星期五和大奶彬闹翻后,她每天都尝试打电话、传简讯给我,但是我都没回应。对于她的举动,我还是很生气。她凭什么主宰我的内心世界?那张照片是属于我和Ah Toot的回忆,根本和她无关。她那样做,太无理取闹了。

可是,大奶彬说的话也不是没道理。Ah Toot已经和欣怡在一起了,我是应该放下过去,放弃所有希望,不要再去想我和Ah Toot有可能在一起。这也是我答应自己要做到的。把照片收在钱包里,不但没帮助我忘记,反而鼓励我留恋,让我越陷越深,更加痛苦。大奶彬是因为关心我,不想看我沉沦下去,才会那么坚持要我把照片扔掉。我承认,那张照片,是我不肯放下,也放不下的最后一丝希望。虽然我已经决定,已经答应自己无数次,我会放弃争取Ah Toot,但,我并没有放弃等待他回心转意。那张照片,是他曾经深爱我的证据。是我们曾经幸福快乐的回忆烙印。无论如何,我一定要好好保存。没有一个人,包括大奶彬,能阻止我保护它。

大奶彬知道我很生气,所以这几天都没回来宿舍。我不是一个容易发火的人,所以,当我真的生气时,大奶彬明白,需要给我至少两三天的时间冷静下来。志聪每天都来找我,尝试帮大奶彬说好话,劝我原谅大奶彬。我说我一定会原谅她的,只是需要多一点时间。从中学到现在,大奶彬一直都是我最要好的朋友,我当然不会让感情的问题影响我们之间的友情。

傍晚,志聪打电话给我,说有一些关于迎新会的急事要谈,问我能不能到房间来找我。我正好在房里无所事事,就告诉他OK。

等了大概10分钟,有人来敲门。我把门打开,可是门外没人。四处张望了一下,以为自己听错了,正想把门关上,却突然看见地上摆放着两袋东西。我把两个袋子拿进房里,坐在床上打开来看。其中一包是装满了仓鼠吃的甜点和玩具的塑料袋,另外一袋是一个设计精美的浅蓝色纸袋。纸袋两面印上了一个著名巧克力的品牌,里面装着一盒精致的巧克力,一共有十二颗,每一颗都不一样。

这时,我的手机响了。是志聪传来的简讯。他说,两袋礼物是他送的。他知道我这几天心情不好,希望巧克力能让我心情好一点。还有,就算我心情还是没好起来,他也不希望我可怜的小宠物冬冬受罪,所以买了一些好吃的好玩的给它。简讯的最后一句,志聪说如果想谢谢他,只要开门就行了。看了他的简讯,突然非常感动,边流泪边微笑,跑去把门打开。

志聪真的就站在我面前,开心地笑着。他本来想开口说什么,但,我接下来的举动,让他措手不及,什么话也说不出口了。就连我也被自己的冲动吓了一跳。

我往前走了两步,靠在志聪身上,双手抱着他上半身,轻轻说了一句:“谢谢。”

我不知道为什么我会有这么大的反应。也许我疯了。也许当时的我内心特别脆弱,志聪送来的一丁点感动就足以让我感情泛滥,促使平时内向的我一时忍不住要以行动表示谢意。

我只知道,当时的我很想那样抱着他。我只知道,当时抱着志聪的我,虽然很努力地不去回想5年前的一个下午,但还是失败了。那天,一个穿着深蓝色衬衫、戴着眼镜的男孩,亲手送了一盒来自瑞士的巧克力给我。

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

first to comment! =D!

A Sweet actions will make a girl go crazy.

When someone is feeling down, sweet actions n stuffs will lighten up the soul.

Hopefully Zhi Cong n DTF will have some future =D!

Anonymous said...

难不成晓芬在志聪找到了俊辉的影子..

Anonymous said...

在大头芬在治疗情伤的时候, 志聪是那么的关心大头芬的。 女生在这段期间, 心灵上一定会比较脆弱。 可能, 志聪会因此慢慢的WIN到大头芬的心哦。 志聪要加油哦!!!

As for Ah Toot, 如果他会对大头芬回心转意的话, 到时候才说吧。 可以看得出来志聪也很疼爱大头芬。 Why not give 志聪 a chance。

大头芬, 现在的你不要想太多。 享受被志聪追求的感觉吧。(^-^)

大奶彬, 也是想protect and 关心大头芬。 But, 有时有点over了。 要懂得拿捏哦。。。 Hope that both 大头芬 and 大奶彬 can go back to normal asap!!!

Peifen,
story getting better and better!!!
Good job wor!!!
Jia You!!!

卫斯理 said...

抱着一个人,心里却想着另一个人。大头芬,妳真的很不应该。我能理解妳的一时脆弱,想找个肩膀靠一靠的心情,但是万一志聪误会了呢?妳会一时冲动的接受他,到后来却发现自己的心里只有ah toot,容不下志聪,最后搞得志聪和自己都伤痕累累?我们每一个人都会在爱情里被别人伤害,也会伤害别人。只希望大家别在找到幸福之前就被伤得心死,不再相信幸福的存在。

Anonymous said...

wow hmm hope DTF will sort out her love life out and find her happiness.

GiGi Shuping said...

Oh... She's still thinking of Ah Toot again. Those days whereby Ah Toot used to keep nice chocolate specially and gave her. Things always seems like happened just yesterday....

missusjaywhyhedge said...

omg can't wait to see how the story will progress...

希望大头芬能够看清楚自己真正喜欢的人。。。 她是不是不知不觉地爱上了志聪呢? 志聪是不是喜欢上大头芬了能? 如果是的话,希望大头芬能给志聪一个机会。。。

佩芬,你的故事写得不错。很精彩,继续加油!

A | e X B o O said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

大头芬难不成把志聪当成俊辉了!!!
不可以啊!!!


~kai yuan~

AH Toot said...

nice post, very heart catching...

Anonymous said...

ZC is good...and a gal sure feel touched when a guy treats her so nice..esp when the gal is down...but i still hope ah toot will come back to DTF....

their timing sure dun fix...they are compatible..

Anonymous said...

Hai.... this is really messy, one part of me hope to see Ah Toot n DTF get back together, but the other part hope DTF n Zhicong get together.... Messy....

Peifen,
Woah... the story is getting more and more intresting. Looking forward to hear and read more.

Anonymous said...

Certain things, once done, can't be reversed!

Sometimes, you can't escape from reality, what is the truth cannot be altered!

The comments that I have made about these few people- _elly _ong or KK, _deline _an or AT, _ee _ing _ei or LTW and last but not least, _ndy _an or _an _im _uat AT or TKH, are true and fair, that explains why they did not take legal actions against me!

Anonymous said...

zhicong you are realy nice to DTF. Even i noe tat DTF like Ah toot, i wish they will be together too. But zhichong action make me move too..
Maybe DTF accept Zhichong then Ah toot will know what he really wants, DTF or SinYi.
REading this blog make me cry too..

Anonymous said...

如果志聪能够接受DTF只把他当作AH TOOT 的影子的话,那么他就要能够忍受,不! 是接受接下来DTF 的举动了。。。

(<")Elaine(">)

Yee Pei said...

although its nt very nice 2tink of toot when u r huggin ZC....bt i guess u rili nid a shoulder 2lean against....heart totally broken....by so many stuffs....i tink tt ZC oso interested in u loh....so obvious....well, anw...if u find tt ZC is nt bad...mayb u shld gif him a chance??though u've been hurt by toot bt it doesn't mean tt u'll gt hurt by ZC....mayb u can learn frm me???i hv a policy one....when my boy wans a break up....i'll gt very devastated for jus a few daes...cos i'll tell myself tt its his own loss 2gif me up....i'll live better dan hw he wans me 2live....i'll make him regret 4gifin me away....so mayb DTF can learn oso???

REM: dere'll always b ppl supportin u!!!!so dun gif up...live better n make toot regret 4gifin u up!!!

*smilies*

Anonymous said...

Yeah, DTF.. no point brooding over something that's lost. Dun wait for Ah toot anymore. One fine day, when you finally find someone who loves you and you love too.. your love with Ah toot will slowly fade. It'll just remain as a fond memory. Trust me.. I experienced it. And I'm now happily married... expecting our baby this yr end. :)

Anonymous said...

It’s unfair to blame AT and it is wrong to say AT “jilted” her when that poor chap doesn’t even know DTF’s interest. All the while, she has NOT made known to AT of her standings … I feel that DTF has not dealt with her feelings openly and this caused many innocent people being hurt eg ZC, XinYi and even TCQ (seems that he is also coming into the triangle).

Would suggest DTF comes clean with her feeling with AT – whatever the answer might be - if AT accepts, then there is only XinYi to answer to and should AT rejects, then life moves on ….at least there is a closure…. A lot of readers might say – what about Xinyi? I think it is better for her to let go now then to feel the deeper hurt that comes along later. (Somehow, there is also a nice guy in ZC.. …they would make a good match too … .ha..ha..ha)

Anonymous said...

i still think that dtf shld be with ah toot!!!!!!!!!!

dnb can stop trying hard!!! n zhicong has no chance at all!!!

hope dtf wun bian xin!!!!!

sihui said...

旧照片撕烂了,身边又出现一个那么体贴、关心你的人,或许是意味着大头芬应该放手了。ah toot已经有了女朋友了,而且我相信ah toot是经过一番考虑和挣扎才决定放弃大头芬,接受别的女孩子的。所以,要他回心转意应该会满困难的。

是该时候放手了吧!放手不一定要接受zhicong,给自己多一点时间吧。现在立刻接受他会是个错误的决定,因为在自己最脆弱的时候作出恋爱的决定往往都是把对方当作一个避风港,而不是真正的爱他。

要和说清楚哦,zhicong会了解你的心情,再给你多一点时间的。take some time to breathe and don't be angry with DNB already lah! :)

Anonymous said...

hey its nice that you are starting to accept zhicong now.. but dont accept him on impulse or treat him as a subsitute for ahtoot ok.. it would hurt him FURTHER

Anonymous said...

我总是还是信不过志聪... 因为,喜欢一位女生时,这些举动是理所当然的... 可是,这么容易地喜欢了晓芬,我想他也会轻易地喜欢另外一位女生...

晓芬,要小心一点... 我总是对志聪的 "感情" 有不祥的预感... 依然还是信不过他,太过会耍花样了... 太多 pattern 的男生,我觉得不真实,不老实... 会很容易地打动女人心,不过重看不重用...

Anonymous said...

爱人是痛苦的,被爱是幸福..大头芬让志聪爱你的机会吧..加油哦!!

pei fen...
加油!!

Anonymous said...

xiao fen! you cannot do this to zhi cong! it's so unfair to him. you cannot treat him so well yet you're thinking of ah toot. if you continue this, sooner or later you're going to accept his love. but then you're taking him for ah toot. there must be a clear line drawn between appreciating the care and loving him! cannot be so unfair to zhi cong..

and peifen! i love your story! it's so close to heart and i find da tou fen so similar to me! hahs. must jia you to continue to give us even better story plot! hope to hear a really nice ending.. =)

Anonymous said...

so sweet ..... of e huge but it will made zhi chong like u again just because of e sweet huge ..... i thing maybe dtf will like tat like zhi chong buti don't want n don't like i still like ah toot with dtf n dnb with tian cai qing lol i thing u al willl said i very...

Anonymous said...

wow..cant wait to know wad happen next..
ZC muz be very happy baz..

peifen!!Jiayou ohz..

Anonymous said...

Life itself is full of surprises!

Life is unfair!

Thus if you wanted justice to be done, you will have to depend on yourself!

Certain things, once done, can't be reversed!

Sometimes, you can't escape from reality, what is the truth cannot be altered!

The comments that I have made about these few people- _elly _ong or KK, _deline _an or AT, _ee _ing _ei or LTW and last but not least, _ndy _an or _an _im _uat AT or TKH, are true and fair, that explains why they did not take legal actions against me!

Anonymous said...

Check this website out!
http://ant.d4b.net/webs/lyric/lyric.html

Anonymous said...

it is not easy to forget someone whom u loved especially for a long long period. this person had been staying in ur heart for so long, so is kinda hard to chase him/her out of ur heart.it really takes time and courage to forget someone whom u had loved for so long and so deep.

although it is hard but i belive time will help to heal the wound.u may not be able to forget but i guess u may able to burry deep inside ur heart.

DTF, learn from it...sometime letting go, is a good begining....dont forget u still have people who still care and love u.....

ZH, if u want to walk into DTF heart, remember it will be kinda tough initially...and if u are sure u can replace DTF pain with happiness, go ahead do it....jia you....

starnite31

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... seeing so many comments really makes me wonder if i should say that i actually support ZhiCong...

Nt that Ah Toot is no good or wat la.. just that like what Sihui has said.. Ah toot must have been through some struggle before accepting XinYi..

But no matter wat is the outcome.. i still support DTF de shi jie.. so nice and so heartwarming..

Peifen jia you.. DTF jia you..

^-^

Anonymous said...

this story is getting more n more interesting.. m wondering will DTF gives ZC a chance..

ZC - jiayou.. if u truly likes DTF go ahead n tell her.. (",)

DTF - jiayou too.. m sure u n move on n 4get AT..

Anonymous said...

哇!好感人呀!
我读着读着竟然也哭了出来 D;

嗨, 大头芬加油加油吧!
在爱情中也受到伤害的人,要振作起来喔!
大头芬我们一起加油忘记旧爱吧!:)

Anonymous said...

jiayou tadoufen. i know you can go out of the darkness, and hope you will be okay.

consider zhicong, he is a good guy

woei chyi said...

oh zhi cong is really a nice guy. this round he has really touched da tou fen. Jia you zhi cong, hope u can be together with da tou fen =)

Anonymous said...

YALOR!!
if zhi cong and DTF together..
its not surprising at all...
he is also a nice guy.. a happy ending which we readers would wan to see.. heex...

DTF... J I A Y O U!!!

Anonymous said...

i think zhi cong is a nice guy, but i really think DTF should sort out her feeling first before doing any action that she might regret later.

looking forward to your next blogging.

bittergourd said...

Peifen:

Notice that for the past few entries, your writing skills have improved. You tend to use lots of imagery and chium words now, great! We can learn Chinese at the same time while listening to DTF. Especially like how you described the scene of the photo being torn apart, never expect a simple act to be described so vividly. Tks for the effort put in to make the show more interesting to listen.

Adrian & Mag said...

THIS IS SO EXCITING!!! enjoyed your story but y no new update on podcast. I miss afew of the story.

Fridayrean said...

Wow, some possible development b/w them wor... i wonder would there be stories of Ah-toot in the future?

Jayden said...

how come dat's no more stories on DTF after July 1st????