Monday, April 09, 2007

星期一,阴天

狂风巨浪后的平静,是让人很不安心的。不知道接下来会发生什么事,不知道要怎么收拾残局。上个星期五,Ah Toot对我说的那段话,还一直萦绕在我耳际。

那张照片,是我喜欢你的指标。如果有一天,当我看见那张照片,不再有心痛的感觉时,那就证明我已不再…爱你了。

感觉很不真实,好像这一切是一场梦。但,Ah Toot的感情是真的,他对我说的话,也是真心话,并不是像梦一样,醒来后就可以忘记,当作没说过。他的话,的确让我感动,却也让我讨厌自己。讨厌我的不果断,他向我表白已经不只一次,我还是无法确定我对他的感受。讨厌我的自私,这么多年一直霸占着他的心,又不肯接受他;只要他做我的朋友,让我失落时有一个依靠,开心时有人一起分享,完全没有考虑他的感受。我到底怎么了?竟然可以无意中伤害他那么深?

这两天,我们好像有意避开对方。平常时,我们会在周末上网聊天,而且一聊就是好几个小时。这个周末,我上网的时候,Ah Toot原本是online的,但很快就变成offline了。是巧合?还是故意?我不知道。如果是巧合,那我们也太有默契了吧。

今天也一样,没有在网上或学校看见Ah Toot。很想向大奶彬倾诉,听听她有什么看法,但,她已经有够多烦恼了。

说到大奶彬,发觉她最近瘦了。感情的事,真的可以从里到外折磨一个人。不过,她好像和那个猪头断绝来往了,因为最近大奶彬一下课就回来宿舍,有时比我还要早,不再像以前那样深夜才静悄悄回来。今天也一样,我回到宿舍时,大奶彬已经坐在床上看电视了。

说到电视,我们房间里的这台电视机也是大奶彬最近突然心血来潮买的。心烦的时候,女孩子的其中一种发泄方式,就是放肆购物吧。买一些贵重的,平时舍不得买的东西,心情就会因此而好一点。这台电视机的确为大奶彬带来不少娱乐,只要她在房间里,电视都是开着的。

“你吃饭了吗?”

大奶彬目不转睛地看着电视,回答:“嗯。吃了。”

“哦。你真的吃了吗?看你瘦成这个样子,好象营养不良咧。”

大奶彬听到“瘦”这个字,突然睁大眼睛看着我,兴奋地问:“真的??我瘦了?YAY!”

好久没看见她那么开心了。

“你干嘛那么开心啊?”

“当然开心啦!我最新的目标就是要瘦5公斤!这几天我都在努力做运动,每天早上都到体育场去跑步。真的见效了!”

“有吗?我怎么不知道呢。”

“哈哈!你这个懒惰虫,我每天早上跑了步回来你都还没睡醒呢。”

“哇。你以前都不喜欢运动的,为什么突然那么积极?”

“哎呀。与其为了男人心烦,不如把时间和精力花在更有意义,对身体有益的活动上?”

大奶彬的语气变得有点沉重,我不知道该怎么回答。

“你不必担心,我和那个大白痴已经不是朋友了。”

大奶彬说了,停顿一下,然后继续:晓芬,谢谢你,这段日子都在我身边支持着我,也没把这件事告诉天才庆。”

“哎哟。你几时变得那么肉麻了啦。我不习惯咧。”

我们笑了。我坐在大奶彬床边,和她一起看电视节目。

生活中难免有风风雨雨,但,有了友情这一把坚固的大雨伞,等待雨过天晴的过程就没那么困难了。

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

dtf.. friends are reali impt.. they will be there for you all the times no matter wat happens to you, giving u all the mental support you need in times... all the best to u and dnb! you yi wan sui!!

Anonymous said...

大头芬,很羡慕你和大奶彬的友情。
希望故事里的你和 Ah Toot 有发展。

Anonymous said...

Its great, and so sweet to know you always have a good friend by your side no matter what happen.

Anonymous said...

so gd tat u guy have gd friend realli envy.. hope tat Ah fen and Ah toot can be together.. =)
Ah fen muz tink carefully..

Anonymous said...

so envy of ur friendship.. ya.. friends are impt.. but nowsaday ppl forsake friendship for their bf/gf.. i also hope i will find such gd friend.. but guess such friendship can only develop in school.. once in work society, it's kinda difficult.. & i've long past my sch life already..

Anonymous said...

It's really good to have good friends by your side when you are feeling down. Friends are there to share the ups and downs in life.

Can't wait for the next entry. =)

Swimming Monkey said...

i feel that snce the dtf has grown up se has become more sad? even the background music become quite sad lor

Anonymous said...

看到大头芬和大奶彬的友情就想到以前的自己,伤心难过时也是靠朋友撑过来的。。
有时候啊~在我们难过的时候朋友不用出声,只要在身边默默的为自己加油就够了。。

Anonymous said...

friends are impt. they'll be with u whenever u need them. like me & my frens. :)

YellOw haNds love DaTouFen!

cheers! :)

lots of loves,
Yellow Hand Family. :)

Anonymous said...

As you can see,friends are more important,you can talk to your friend about anything,don't need to hide any truth like what DNB hide from TCQ.Maybe Ah toot enjoys being just your friend,while he loves you,cuz he can at least assure you won't avoid talking about some topics that you won't dare to when you are talking to a boyfriend.

Anonymous said...

Peifen:

I am very curious whether Ah toot is still so "toot"? Seems like he is not so toot afterall, he is in university, rich,have admirer,is so faithful to DTF,really hope that you can describe his physical appearance now after so many years. Jia you!

Joyce.T said...

really very eager to know whether datoufen and ah toot can be together in the end! XP

Anonymous said...

really very eager to know whether datoufen and ah toot can be together in the end! XP

Anonymous said...

i share the same view as verene.... its so difficult to build geninue friendships outside school...

for those who have true friends by their side... please treasure...

Anonymous said...

很羡慕你 !

Anonymous said...

终于知道大奶彬没事了,好开心,有点觉得像听见自己朋友的遭遇一样。看来购物这方式挺有效的嘛。。。

现在的心情只有期待(没那么得像要追求答案了)期待着大头芬接下来又会碰到神秘生活琐事呢??

不管将来的故事发展如何,大头芬 加油哦!!

佩芬,你好棒!! 加油!!

Chronotee

Mrs Soh said...

wad happened to 大奶彬 and the 大头 or what's his name? I'm glad 大奶彬knows what's best for her.. And the 减肥 part.. i hope she wont over do it.. so worried for her..

Anonymous said...

yup! friends are definitely impt.
true friends are the one who stand by your side no matter u are happy or down.

Anonymous said...

I think maybe 大头芬和大奶彬 can做运动 together...anyway 加油佩芬!

Anonymous said...

Datoufen, is Ah Toot the man of your desire or is he simply a trophy?

This is a very important question that you should be asking yourself!

Ah Toot has not been a very responsible guy! It is because of what he said to Sammie that caused her to hate Datoufen! He claimed that he and Datoufen have been in BGR for many years when it is not the case!

If you were Sammie, wouldn’t you be angry? Wouldn’t you feel that you have treated like a fool?

By maintaining the ‘Ai Mei’ situation, Datoufen is not only being unfair to Ah Toot, but also Sammie and other future love rivals!

Nobody would want to be treated unfairly! Nobody would want to be deprived of his/ her chances even though the chances of success might be only 1%!

Anyway, Sammie wouldn’t stand a chance- with or without Datoufen! This is because she is not really attracted to Ah Toot, but his wealthy background!

It is a love with attached conditions, with ulterior motives! I won’t be surprised if Sammie were to subsequently do things that harm the interests of Ah Toot!

It is because right from the start, it is not true love to begin with!

Anonymous said...

大头芬, 真的要好好地珍惜读书时的友情. 一旦踏出校门, 进入社会, 就很难拥有一份天真与真挚的友情了. 朋友们都会因为"忙", 而渐渐的疏远了, 慢慢的就会把你给忘了, 可能要等到有婚宴时, 突然的才会记起还有这么一位"朋友", 婚宴过后, 可能又会再度被遗忘了. 这就是生活在充满数字的钢筋森林的现代都会人了.

[培根]说: 为朋友死并不难, 难的是找一个值得为他死的朋友.

Anonymous said...

之前, 真的忙着担心故事里的大头芬、 Ah toot、 大奶彬和天才庆, 4 人的感情发展。

默默的希望大头芬与Ah toot可以在一起。
也担心着大奶彬与天才庆的恋情会不会告吹。
还好、还好。。 大奶彬与天才庆还是圆满的在一起。 =)

大头芬, 要好好的想清楚自己心里在想什么哦。 无论你做出的是什么选择, 记得一定要随着你的心。

PS:很喜欢DTF的最后一句话。 友情真的是人人的精神支柱。

Anonymous said...

pf! let something impt happen between dtf n ahtoot so that dtf will know if she has any feelings for ah toot... n she really needs to find out what ahtoot told sammie... maybe sammie was angry with ahtoot for not accepting her n she made up some story to try n spoil dtf n ahtoot de frenship...

really hope dtf will xiang tong soon and clear the air... if they are fated to be together, one fine day, they will still be together... :)

Anonymous said...

Pei fen.. Sumting happened 2 me recently tat caused me 2 b very heartbroken.. I felt lyk even thought i put in my ultimate efforts.. I still cant get wat i desired.. Felt tat i m still at e original stituation i m 2 yr back.. Felt we, ITE students are still bein sterotype or discriminate by the society.. We juz nd more opportunities to prove ourself justice.. ='(

Anonymous said...

Pei fen.. Sumting happened 2 me recently tat caused me 2 b very heartbroken.. I felt lyk even thought i put in my ultimate efforts.. I still cant get wat i desired.. Felt tat i m still at e original stituation i m 2 yr back.. Felt we, ITE students are still bein sterotype or discriminate by the society.. We juz nd more opportunities to prove ourself justice.. ='(

Purple ridin hood

Anonymous said...

hope ah fen and ah toot will be together

Anonymous said...

每一次的 DTF 都让我好期待...
这一次的 DTF, 又让我感动了...

当 "爱情" 受伤时, "友情"是帮忙疗伤的..

(<") Elaine (">)

Xavi said...

finally DNB matter is over~ yeah! glad she sort out her thinking. Now is time for DTF le... DTF u better wake up ya? U never kno if after this time.. will ah toot still stand on ur door n knock or nt.. imagine he decided to give up on u den u say u like him. how??

Anonymous said...

i think it gd 2have a friend tat understand u

Fridayrean said...

Peifen, the story is getting better and better each time. Thank you for creating such a nice story for us to listen to. Brightens up my day too!
cheers

Anonymous said...

Actually, I think that DTF should be more fair towards Ah Toot, by confirming her feelings towards him once and for all. DTF knows that she does enjoy the time when she is with Ah Toot but, she has got to be clear on whether she likes him as a friend or also as a boy companion who will accompany her through her happiness and sadness. If she keeps occupying Ah Toot's heart without giving him any answer, it would be rather selfish as she is also depriving the chances of the other girls.

I sincerely thinks that DTF do have some feelings for Ah Toot, go ahead and try giving your heart to Ah Toot, he does sounds like a nice guy who will take good care of you. =) Hope Ah Toot won't be as heartbroken as he was in the past..

^.^ jUs sMilEs

Anonymous said...

podcast for episode no. 76, 77, 78 are not working, pls assist!

Anonymous said...

what could be the problem? The podcast files always got problem, and the files are not uploaded as frequently as last time...

woei chyi said...

Friends are pillar of support to one another. It is great that both of you are very good friends and hope that it would last forever!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Love the ending sentence. :) Very heartwarming. Thx for the great job Peifen!

Anonymous said...

i never listen 2 大头芬的故事 1 onli since yesterday ... so nice ... N i think 大头芬 must be with Ah toot de ...

Anonymous said...

i thing sam... don't how 2 spell.zhong sei qing you lol

SallY said...

yep, i agree that friendship are only can be found in student life... Working life, friendship is hard to maintain..
dtf, u must treasure the friendship with dnb...