Friday, December 14, 2007

12月14日,下雨,心情:疲惫、麻木

前几天都没写日记。没心情,没力气。

上星期五过后的几天,昏昏沉沉度过,夜晚失眠,白天无精打采,这样的恶性循环重复上演,到了今天,我已经几乎变成了行尸走肉。连和我交情不深的清洁阿姨都察觉到,今天早上看见我时惊叹道:“哎哟!小妹,你生病啊?怎么脸色那么难看?”

我不是一个善于表现内心感情的人。大奶彬曾经说过,我完全不适合当演员,因为我脸上的表情只有开心和不开心两种。我想,那是因为我是一个把心感
情藏在心里的人,有心事通常都不会说出口,也从来没有在别人面前哭过。

今天,我破例了。

约了大奶彬吃晚餐。大奶彬一看到我,惊讶地睁大双眼,两手抓着我的肩膀,关心地问:“你看起来好像不太舒服,你没事吧?”

芬:“我没事,可能是这几天睡不好。”

吃完晚餐,我们一起走向巴士车站。

彬:“喂,你开始收拾行李了吗?又去东京又去台北,你就好像明星一样,到世界各地巡回演唱!”

如果上个星期五只是一场恶梦,那我可能会因为大奶彬这句话而开心地笑。但,当时的我心情太沉重了,完全没有力气笑。

彬:“喂,你怎么愁眉苦脸的?出国不是应该开开心心的?而且,你很快就可以和你心爱的Ah Toot见面了!在冬天的台北相遇…好浪漫啊!”

突然感到头晕,双脚发软,再也走不下去,在人来人往的大街上停下脚步。

彬:“晓芬!你没事吧?天啊!你的脸色怎么那么苍白?”

之后大奶彬说什么,我没听见,因为眼前在一瞬间变成一片黑暗。

醒来时,我和大奶彬坐在一辆德士里。

彬:“你终于醒过来了!你刚才怎么突然晕倒,真是吓死我了!”

也许是身体虚弱时意志也比较弱,情绪完全失去控制,我无助地抽泣着,紧抓住大奶彬的手,断断续续地说,“我不想…不想…去台北了…Ah Toot…已经…已经有了…女,女,女朋友…”

长这么大,这是我第一次在别人面前,完全崩溃。

13 comments:

evelyn said...

hi dtf fans...

in case you havent seen my comment on the previous blog entry, i'm collating a list of comments for DTF.

1. if you have any comments, suggestions, well wishes, encouragements, anything!!! Pls send them to datoufen@gmail.com. Pls spread the word around!!!! I hope to hit as many comments as possibly by 31st DEC 07.

2. I believe this has always been all our wishes. I have always hoped that DTF can be made into a book and be sold islandwide! If you would like this to happen, pls email to datoufen@gmail.com with "I want Da Tou Fen!". I will collate and send them all to 933, in hope that they will pick up this idea.


*******************
thanks to those who have already responded... but responses are coming in quite slowly... do support if u are a DTF fan okies???
thanks!!!

Anonymous said...

加油!!努力把握自己的幸福。。

Anonymous said...

大头芬,你不要放弃也不要难过,这也许是她的计谋,阿toot 都已经和她分手了而且她是要刺激你,你不要被他骗了,如果你放弃可没有机会了,加油哦!!



宇轩

my daily memeries said...

好伤心....突然读到ah toot 有女朋友了...本来还以为大头芬可以开开心心的去台湾找 ah toot..给他一个惊喜...那知道....上天真会做弄人啊.....


佩芬&大头芬...要加油哦....最近都在下雨...要照顾你们的身体啊.....

xue said...

Yeah..I m the 1st one here..I love dtf alot alot lor..everytime see the story, I would be very touched..

kukumalu said...

要照顾好身子啊。也许这一切都是一场误会呢?
我相信大头芬和ah toot最后会在一起的。

fridayrean said...

Just heard on the radio for the latest episode, Tian Cai Qing and Da Nai Bing Omedeto ne!

Finally there a couple that can be together after so much things happened. Hope it will be the same for DTF. Myabe Tian Cai qing & Bing can help DTF to contact ah-Toot to find out what has happened?

卫斯理 said...

大头芬,把眼泪擦干,然后把真相弄清楚。不要因为听信欣怡的一面之词而放弃一切。这样对妳和Ah Toot都不公平。

aj said...

jiayou pei fen! i bet e "girl friend" is a fake 1. if it is true then u must pull urself 2gether!

gigi said...

dun be sad..maybe the girl is telling lies.

Anonymous said...

actually after reading the previous post, i felt kind of sad... did not expected DTF's world to end so soon.. anyway, part of me hope that ah toot and DTF can be together... so there will be a happy reunion... before the story fully ends... but i was thinking if there is no perfect ending, it might mean that there would be part 2.. will there? hope to know more about DTF's world de development..

beeling said...

大头芬好可怜哦。。
连我都想哭了。。
希望她能尽快振作去台湾时就找ah toot问清楚。。加油哦!!gambateh!

RinNa said...

曉芬,我了解你的痛苦,因爲我也經歷過。
不要放棄!不要聼單方面之詞!相信自己,相信你深愛的ah toot!
加油!