Friday, August 17, 2007

星期五,雨天

到了今天下午,我还是没告诉Ah Toot我不想和他见面。因为我也还没决定到底要不要去。

我还喜欢他吗?现在的我真的无法回答这个问题。是,不久前我很肯定自己是喜欢他的。但,自从他放弃了我,接受了欣仪的感情,我对他的感情就多了一层失望与伤心,也有一些些生气。我需要多一点时间,抚平混乱的情绪。

我们约定的时间是傍晚6点,地点是一家我们以前常去的餐厅。下午4点多,我坐在宿舍房间里的床上,手里拿着手机,不知所措的发着呆。要打电话跟他说呢?还是传简讯?嗯。传简讯比较好。没那么尴尬。可是,要怎么说呢?直接告诉他“我暂时不想见你”?那太不客气了吧。还是找一个借口,说今天突然有事,没空见面?

思绪突然被一阵响亮的手机铃声打断。是义荣的SMS。他问我,等一下会不会参加OG聚会。

哦。天啊。我把这件事忘得一干二净。

OG是Orientation Group的简称,也就是我在宿舍迎新会时所属的小组。虽然迎新会已经结束了,但小组成员之间的感情还是很要好,经常会聚在一起吃饭,聊天,看电影,或买蛋糕一起庆祝某一个人的生日。今天傍晚,我的小组决定一起去吃晚餐,然后看场电影。集合时间是下午5点,地点就在宿舍的食堂。

很感激义荣在这关键的一秒提醒我,让我找到了拒绝Ah Toot的理由。我传了一个SMS给Ah Toot,内容是:“非常对不起,我忘了今天和宿舍的朋友约好一起聚餐。因为老早已经答应他们,所以不能反悔。我们以后再约一个时间见面吧。”

每次OG聚会都充满欢笑,大家嘻嘻哈哈说笑玩闹,今天也不例外。和他们在一起,让我可以暂时忘掉烦人的心事。我们在乌节路一家美式餐厅吃东西,在点菜后等待时,坐在我身旁的朋友珊珊突然假装拿着麦克风在访问我,大声发问:“林晓芬小姐,请你针对你和绯闻男友苏义荣先生的暧昧关系澄清一下。” 珊珊说完,大家都笑翻了。我啼笑皆非,不过还是觉得珊珊的演技太滑稽了,所以也笑个不停。坐在我对面的义荣很配合,举起手来假装保护我的样子,很严肃地边挥手边说“走开走开!你们不要再问她了!”,像是明星在拒绝接受狗仔队访问时一样。其他一些朋友开始扮演摄影记者,拿出手机和数码相机假装拍照。珊珊的问题,也在大家的胡闹演出和笑声中不了了之。

晚餐后,我们一起去看电影。电影结束,已经是晚上10点多了。大家一起搭车回宿舍,虽然已经玩闹了一整个晚上,但每个人还是兴致勃勃地在回去的路程上谈天说地。

回到宿舍,洗了舒服的热水澡,我和大奶彬懒洋洋地躺在各自的床上看电视。这时,我听见手机响了,有人传简讯过来。可是,因为手机在包包里面,而包包又不在我身边,懒得动的我没立刻察看是谁的SMS。

睡觉前,我拿出手机来看,原来是Ah Toot。他在SMS里说,今天没办法见面,有点失望,不知道下次还会有机会吗?

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

haha!!! i'm the 1st!!! Yeah!!!

Erm, haiyo... Ah Toot 的“不知道下次还会有机会吗” is what meaning??? What he means?? He going overseas?? Not coming back??

Or i think tooo much liao???

Looking forward to monday!!!!

~Xiao Yao~ said...

mmhz.. yupz.. maybe ah toot will juz disappear from DTF's life forever and she wun even have the chance to see him for the last time or say goodbye.... but then i'm not trying to say that DTF should regret not meeting ah toot.. since i think she should do watever that will make herself happy... which in this case is going out with her OG frens rather than meeting with ah toot and get herself into plenty of dilenmas... sometimes.. we juz cant be with the one we reallie loved.. he/she will juz remain as a beautiful memory for us....

Anonymous said...

hmmm.. realli wonder wat's AT up to.. agreed w xiao yao smtimes we juz cant b w the one we realli love.. as usual, follow ur heart & do thgs that will make urself feels good & happy.. nobody shd 'control' our life except ourself.. we always hv a choice to decide which is best.. :)

Lukg fwd to Mon story..

PF - good work & jiayou (^.^)

Anonymous said...

ah toot lyk so sad i think he going ? or got sickness ? so sad he tone lyk surely won't meet de

Anonymous said...

晓芬如果还想知道自己喜不喜欢俊辉,其中最好的选择就是去和他见个面。

Anonymous said...

dun u wan to knw y ah toot wans to meet up wif u? mayb he still miss u so much but juz not dare to tell u. Y dun give u both of u a chance n decide who u wan to be wif.Dun regret in your life

Anonymous said...

我了解大头芬的感受。
但是,事情难免会出乎意料的。

还是见见面再说吧。
总比失去了机会,才来后悔好吧。

Anonymous said...

DTF,

i still feel you should meet up with ah Toot... escaping from him and avoiding to meet up are not the solution... anyway, ah Toot was once ur good fren for so many years.. so what if you can't be his gf? i understand what u r feeling right now... maybe you want him to meet u at school? then you dun have drag yourself to go to the restaurant?

Jia you...

Anonymous said...

What is the truth will remain the truth!

It is an undeniable fact that Datoufen's head doesn't agree with her heart!

It is also an undeniable fact that the comments that I have made about these few people- _elly _ong or KK, _deline _an or AT, _ee _ing _ei or LTW and last but not least, _ndy _an or _an _im _uat AT or TKH, are true and fair, that explains why they did not take legal actions against me!

I wonder why is it so difficult to find a girlfriend that fulfils my criteria?

My criteria is very simple- not based on looks or figures but on inner beauty!

So far, 5 have failed!

While it is true that looks and figures are considered ‘bonuses’, they are not the decisive factors! Inner beauty is considered the basic fundamental!

In fact, out of the 5 who failed, one of them (who go by the initials KK and the name _elly _ong) was not bad-looking and has a figure that is not too bad either, but unfortunately, she has an ugly heart! She is cheap and shameless! Jian Huo!

It doesn’t matter whether you are driving a sports car or a saloon car, because when you are stuck in a traffic jam, it became a stationary car!

It doesn’t matter whether the girl has good looks and nice figure, because when she has an ugly heart, it is an outright failure!

Beside her, another two people were involved in this matter. They are the two ATs.

The first one (who goes by the initials AT and the name _deline _an) plays the role of supporter. Even if she were to lose her job one day, she won’t remain unemployed for long! There is a job which is most suitable for her, that is, being a griever (Xiao Nu)! Alternatively, she could also consider going to Geylang to work. After all, both jobs required the person being able to make noises!

A guy (who goes by the initials LTW and the name _ee _ing _ei) plays the role of supporter and instigator. He actively stir up the sentiments of the abovementioned person (who go by the initials AT and the name _deline _an), agitating the person to take drastic actions, effectively using the person as a tool to achieve his own selfish aims.

Wei Ji Wang Guo, Wei Le Nu Ren Da Zhong Guo!

The second one (who goes by the initials AT or TKH and the name _ndy _an or _an _im _uat) plays the role of supporter and instigator. He actively stir up the sentiments of the abovementioned person (who go by the initials KK and the name _elly _ong), agitating the person to take drastic actions, effectively using the person as a tool to achieve his own selfish aims. His nickname includes: Hao Dai, Si Hao Dai, Gon Da Tai, Da Tou Dai, Hao Lam, Si Hao Lam!

While a person could spend a lifetime with the person of his/her desire, he/she can’t spend a lifetime with a wild beast! Even if you are both registered with ROM and applied for a HDB flat, you should do the right thing and forfeit the deposit for the flat rather than choosing to spend a lifetime with a wild beast!

As for the wild beast, he will no doubt suffer a double loss!

What do you call that?

Pei Le Fu Ren You Zhe Pin!

Lose the Lady and the soldiers!

Anonymous said...

maybe it's better for DTF not to meet ah toot.
i mean she has already decided to let ah toot go when he chose XY.
she's trying hard to forget about him and it seems to be working before ah toot came into the picture again.
she actually felt happy when ahe was not thinking of ah toot.
meaning that ah toot will only make her unhappy.

Anonymous said...

it seems that ah toot can't really give DTF happiness

Anonymous said...

i think DTF should meet Ah toot cos mayb he got something he wanted to tell DTF a long time again but never say due to some reason or misunderstanding?

and ya..what does Ah toot mean don't know if next time got chance to meet up again?

卫斯理 said...

在不知不觉中。好多事都改变了。从前,Ah Toot的邀约,简讯所带给大头芬的是快乐,现在却是烦恼与心痛。但是,无论如何,逃避并不能解决问题。见个面,把想说的话和想弄清楚的事一次解决吧。

Tai Yew Mun said...

ah toot prob sensed that dtf is avoiding him, hence got the feeling that they won't see each other again.

dtf, stop running away. it won't solve ur problems. at least listen to wat he has to say, so that u have all the info, so that u can make a decision tat is best for u.

if u decide to let him go without hearing him out, u may jus regret it in the future.

remember, u duno what he want to say to u. it could be something trivia. or it could something tat is going to hurt u more. but at least it will be closure. dun run away from ur problems.

Anonymous said...

sound like ah toot got some problems..Overseas,illness or what...i suggest DTF to at least meet up with him,is rather to meet up once and for all den to regret later.Trust me..

Jia you..

*btw,i tot ah toot, xinyi and dtf all in the same campus,how come they never bump into each other b4*

Anonymous said...

hmmm university campus is huge ma so probably difficult fr dtf, ahtoot and xinyi to bump into each other..

anw i think dtf shld have met up with ahtoot instead of choosing to escape from reality.. although it was already clear that ahtoot has a gf now and dtf is tryin to recover frm her loss, but since ahtoot wants to meet up with her, there must b still some issues which are not resolved. i believe that since ahtoot wishes to meet dtf, there must b something he needs to tell her. although love is often irrational and mayb he will say things that will hurt dtf agn, but isn't it better to get over and done with it? since it is impossible fr dtf to stop speculating abt what is ahtoot's reason fr meeting up with her.

sighh. dtf jiayou! really hope u and ahtoot can clear up the air between both of u..

and peifen! i think the last post was really great, esp the last paragraph=DD. gambette!! dtf's world shld b compiled into a book series!

Anonymous said...

突然觉得现在的AH TOOT有点烦人

Anonymous said...

大头芬..你不是很希望可以看到ah toot的吗?现在,你的愿望实现了.为什么你又不要和他见面呢..你还在忧郁什么??不能做情人不代表不能做朋友啊..可能他有话要告诉你呢?我觉得如果错是了这个机会..不知这机会还等到几时了..加油吧..

Anonymous said...

i dun think DTF really wants to see ah toot... if she wants to, she'll be excited for it... which is not the case

Anonymous said...

e past when u no tat he find u,u r happy but now is sad n angry y y y y think happen like this no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no this is not i wan !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no no no no no no no no no no no n on o n on i don't wa plz change this as fast as possile n i no tat u wan to meet him meet him n u will no e truth n chang tong bu ru chang tong u tong i feel tong as i feel sad for u it's me

Anonymous said...

sometimes things can't happen as what u wan

Anonymous said...

hmm, i think that you should meet up with ah toot oso... hear wad he have to sae since both of you have been frens since secondary school le.. if he reali still likes u, den u might have the chance to be with the person whom u like, if he wans to find u to pour his heart out, talk abt something he is unhappy with, as a fren i think u shld also lend him the listenin ears.. i tink tt it is also no pt to lose a fren jus becos both of u cant be lovers.. friendship is a veri impt thing and is like a treasure, i hope u wun lose a fren jus becos of tis..

aniwae.. stay happy no matter wad.. everything will come to a conclusion eventually, if by meetin him, he conclusion would be out, den y nt?

t0: pEiFen..
i oso think that DTF de shi jie shld be out and published in a bk.. maybe it can be like ying yue ri ji, comes with a CD.. i think a lot of us will buy it.. u can also author it, and maybe put into continous series.. i believe a lot of us, DTF listeners, will buy it.. =D

Anonymous said...

Understand that you are feeling vex whether go meet ah toot anot.But no matter what i beleive there is reasons for him wanting to meet you so desperately.Why not just meet him out n listen what he got to say n then decide?

Escaping for reality is only for the time being, sooner or later u had to face it.

Loveship might nt last forever, but friendship is everlasting.

Anonymous said...

i really feel tat yi rong suitable wif DTF
both of them very cute~~~
n i dun think DTF will crush wif AT in dis situation~~~
AT juz will make DTF suffer~~~

Anonymous said...

i got a feeling that ah toot is going to die. LOL.
可能是我自己想太多~

Anonymous said...

YA! I AGREE WITH THE 出書 IDEA!
peifen! didnt junwei encourage you to come up with a book on friday? YES!!! 幫大頭芬的世界出書吧!!! 我一定會排隊買!!! :D

呆呆嫣儿 said...

跟着自己的感觉走不是很好吗?
想着自己的第一个感觉是要见,
那就去见,不见就不见~

Anonymous said...

DTF:

In the end, you still do not have the courage to face up to your problems. Even if there was the OG meeting, if you are sincere about meeting Ah toot, you could easily push aside the OG outing. Perhaps you are afraid that things will turn out as you expected. However, you can avoid him once, twice but you cannot avoid him forever. Since you are still thinking about him, why not end yourself this misery by sorting things out with him. Find that you are adding to your emotional burden by not clearing things out.

Peifen:

As expected, DTF did not meet Ah toot in the end. Perhaps Ah toot is scared that sooner or later, DTF
will be attached liao, with so many compatible guys around her. Though DTF do not have feelings for both of them, as a guy, I understand that Ah toot will assume DTF will end up with either one of them. Hence, he says that it might be hard to meet DTF in future. Suddenly feel that both of them are very 婆妈。However, I believe no one will be an expert at such a young age concerning love affairs. Can't really say much. It will be one year soon since you launched the show, will you be giving us any special entries on the month of Septemeber? Hope that this show can continue as long as possible.

Regards,
World of DTF supporter

Anonymous said...

it's important for DTF to listen to her heart.... if she dun wanna meet AT, then dun meet lo

Anonymous said...

DTF在逃避什么呢?除非你把他列入以后非来往的名单上,见面还是必然的。
逃避是人的第一反应。也不见得不好。不是每个问题都需要紧急的对策;慢慢分析你对他的期望,才去见见他吧。
不需要太慌张,掌控权还在你手上。

Anonymous said...

i think that tis story is just so realistic that i can almost c it happening to myself.
there r just times when i feel exactly like DTF, wanting to do stn yet choosing nt to..i think i wud nt meet ah toot too. it is best if things were said thru sms or maybe taditionally, e-mail..
ah toot shd nt keep ppl in suspense like tis..i thin khe is too irresponsible in making tt statement 不知道下次还会有机会吗..it leaves ppl pondering..

Anonymous said...

i feel tht i m like dtf.. juz that my guy have nvr like me but i like him ><""""

But after all chose the one tat like you more is more impt then the person you like him more..

Peifen nvr update the 2nd boardcast is at 1130am..

Anonymous said...

HI,

Is there a change in the re-broadcast for DTF. I was surprised to hear the repeat broadcast at 11 plus am today.

BTW, DTF shld make up her mind as she is confusing herself. Go & see Ah Toot & clarify the feelings. No point guessing. It is too tiring.

I believe DTF is still in love with Ah Toot. Give yrself & Ah Toot a chance.

Jia You.
Regina

Anonymous said...

Hey, why don't meet? It is better to thrash it out than keeping inside. DTF got too much imagination sometime. You won't know the answer unless you ask from the person you have questions on.

Who knows what will happen next? What if there will never be a chance next time to see him again? Will DTF have regrets?

You will not know what he is going to say...Well, please don't have regrets like I do now...=(

MashiMaro

Anonymous said...

dtf,

follow your heart, your heart will show you the way~ :)

Anonymous said...

i thk u shld go.... it will do u no harm unoe... its better than running away...


jyjy!!!

Anonymous said...

I hope DTF will reconcile with Ah Toot and be with him......

Anonymous said...

大头芬要勇敢面对一切, 可能后果没有你想象得那么糟糕。 加油哦!!!

Anonymous said...

dtf, sometimes when something passed, it really pass.
so why bother with what had already became history?
just let it go bah.

hugs

Anonymous said...

我还喜欢他吗?现在的我真的无法回答这个问题。是,不久前我很肯定自己是喜欢他的。但,自从他放弃了我,接受了欣仪的感情,我对他的感情就多了一层失望与伤心,也有一些些生气。我需要多一点时间,抚平混乱的情绪。


thats why i never yur fans

i still prefer my DNB

and DTF pls grow up abit.
even though u suffer so much up downs yet u still remains the same
lol

i just feel very unjust for that poor guy ah tootz

its not him that let u down
but u should really blame yurself than to fault him
==================================
To DTF and also all gals
yes true,some guys can be very faithful and wait for u for so many years.
but on discovery of the guy still pin some hope of being together with u all,by keeping a photograpgh,yet the only reaction u give is

or.
ah?
eh?
oh i see.

guess how will that guy feel.
obviously he will be hurt and crushed of all hopes.

and at this moment if a gal were to shower love and concern,easily this guy will be tempted or may consider to move on with his life with a new hope.
===================================

u cant really blame ah tootz,its yur own fault not to realise yur emotions just abit earlier,

blaming him for own foolishness or fault just prove how childish yur mindset can be.


anyway i know its a story.
just wish to voice my comments out for others who may learn from this.

and telling some of u all,how normally guys react and feel.

just dont let the same fate fall upon yurself will do.

Anonymous said...

a bit disappointed with this ... kind of anti climax ... looking forward to the next one