星期五，要多久才会到来呢？我等到快发疯了。
脑袋里的问号几乎要把头给挤爆了。他到底有什么事那么急着跟我谈？他和欣仪吵架了？分手了？他决定不顾一切要和我在一起？他知道我喜欢他？还是，他和欣仪生米煮成熟饭，决定闪电结婚？哇。我的想象力也太“疯”富了吧。疯子的疯。
因为星期五的约会，我白天心不在焉，本来就迷糊的我更加迷糊。晚上失眠，象中了病毒似地渐渐衰弱，胃口也没了，精神也变差了。因为精力不足，心情也特别糟糕，脾气变得比平时坏许多。今天一早，大奶彬在宿舍房间问我要不要一起吃午餐，我没回答，只是点了点头。她背对着我，没看到我点头，就转身过来再问一次“喂，要不要一起吃饭？”
我很不耐烦地说了一句：“我不是点头了吗？为什么一直问？”
大奶彬被我的强烈反应吓了一跳，目瞪口呆地望着我。
我马上知道自己错了，向大奶彬道歉。“对不起。这两天心情很不好。精神也不好。”
彬：“因为星期五的事？”
芬：“嗯。”
彬：“如果真的不想和他见面，那就拒绝他吧。”
芬：“我…”
彬：“就算他这次真的告诉你，他已经和欣仪分手，你会接受他吗？”
芬：“我…不知道。”
彬：“不肯定就代表有一部分是不会接受的！在这样的情况下，怎么可以做出理智的决定？还是给自己多一点时间吧。”
大奶彬说得对。就算Ah Toot现在说他已经恢复单身，想和我在一起，我也不会答应的。也许，我真的应该取消星期五的约会。
* * *
精神欠佳的状态，导致我今天傍晚说了一些后悔说出的话。
志聪在网络上传了一个短讯过来，问我今天好吗。我回答了一句“还好”，就离开了电脑，去看电视。
过了半个小时，回到电脑前，看见志聪在我的一句“还好”之后，传了好多个短讯，告诉我今天他在上课的时候发生了什么事。最后几个短讯是他发现我没反应时传的，他问了好几次我还在吗。看见他那么啰嗦，我又开始不耐烦了，完全不想和他对话。回到床上，想继续看电视，突然，手机响起。
是志聪打来的。我没接。
电话响了一阵子，停了。几秒钟后，又响了。啊！好烦啊！
芬：“喂？”
聪：“晓芬？你没事吧？”
芬：“没事。”
聪：“哦。在网上等不到你的答复，有点担心。”
芬：“我没事。”
聪：“你…心情不好吗？”
在那一刻，我再也无法忍受志聪的婆妈。他的关心，对我来说，是一股压力，让我无法呼吸。
芬：“你不必对我那么好！我是不会喜欢你的。”
祸从口出。我这次真的闯了大祸。
我听见志聪含糊地说一句“好，再见”，就挂上电话了。
不够坚强，让得不到的爱情侵蚀脆弱的灵魂，自己完全变了样，却束手无策。不能继续沉沦。不能再让他霸占我的时间，我的心。
每逢星期一、三、五晚上8点30分在新传媒电台YES933首播；星期二，四，一上午11点30分重播。
About Me
- Peifen
- 可以迷糊，可以精明。可以文静，可以好动。可以合群，可以孤僻。什么都不是，什么都想尝试。
36 comments:
wee~ the first on to post comments...
DTF, dun upset le... cheer up bahx...
wat said had been said. the most is explain to him? go out and walk alone and do some reflection norxx, to feel better... might give u some thoughts on how to do next.
wooo i m the 2nd..
DTF i can understand how you feel, love someone and that person long time nvr contact your suddenly contact you of coe you will will this way.
But you really ned to go and meet him see hwat he say if not your mood will be affected by him.
Jia you ba, i oso got the same feeling as you b4. He hurt me badly but i juz cant dont miss him. Know that he is with his current gf which is a ger which is a ger full of jealousness and trying to backstap me in front of him where i nvr even do anything to harm their relationship. End up i become scolded by him and his gf got all the love from him cos of her bad mouth. haiz that is life..
Maybe xin yi have tell ah toot something or maybe he wanted to be together with you.. think from the bright side you are wonderful ger sure to get what you want .
DTF :
To me u are too much to Zhicong he did nothing wrong just a concern to you! he know u will not like him but doesn't mean u are not in good mood u can treat him like that!
* but hope u will be back with ah toot! *
DTF, how can you treat ZC in this way? He was the one there for you when you are facing the darkest side of your life. He care for you without asking for anything in return, how can you treat him in this way when you are in bad mood.
Even though you don't like him but also can treat a friend in this way. But sometimes is understandable why you behave in this way, better apologise and explain to him. Jia you.
a simple statement like that can really hurt a person very deeply.
sometimes the person who said it doesn't even noe that he's hurting the person.
im understand that what DTF has said just slipped out of her mouth unintentionally.
she didn't mean to hurt ZC.
however, she is still at fault and shld apologise to ZC asap.
cus now ZC has been cruelly rejected by DTF.
her apology might be able to minimise the pain in ZC's heart.
even though they can't be together as a couple, they can continue to be friends and this will depend on how DTF deal with this problem.
so DTF, jiayou ba :))
Omg...what had dtf done??how can u shout at zhi cong..even if he is very naggy to you..but he also veri worried about you ma...but dtf dont be too stress of ah toot le ba, face the fact...what is gone happen will happen soon de..so jia you ba...
i think DTF shouldnt tok to ZC like dat lol...
u dun hav to be soo stress up..
jsut relax abit..
Hwaiting!!!JIAYOU!!
cheer up!! But i think you shld meet ah toot up. Se what he says.. maybe good thing is going to happen..
i can understand how DTF feels. coz ah toot means too much to her.. but her imagination and assumtion might drive her crazy and in the end, hurt ppl around her.. which is unfair to those innocent party..
no matter what happens.. i still prefer that ah toot and DTF be together like some fairy tale story... after so much, finally together. haha...
Oh my goodness. Zhicong so poor thing. =(
当然，有时候你只想一个人沉静一下。关掉手机就好了嘛。当你心情不佳的时候，沟通也将受到影响；伤害了关心你的人，自己也不好过对吧？
That's cruel to zhi chong
虽然说得过分了一些。。但是，尽早让对方知道这个事实总是好的。。如果不让他知道，他只会一直沉浸在大头芬还会接受他的想法里。。这只会让志聪更痛苦而已。。。所以。。大头芬加油！！不要再为已经无法挽回的事实而烦恼了。。往前看。。才能看见更明朗的未来。。加油!!加油!!加油!!
虽然说话的语气是过分了点，但还是把心里的话说了出来。对ZC 是有点残忍，但好过他一直的等待吧！不过还是该道歉的。
DTF 你也别想太多了。 放松心情， 加油！！ 我们一定支持你的决定。
there's many ways to reject a person... and i seriously think dtf is really too much le... 能選擇要不要喜歡上一個人或愛上一個人嗎？喜歡上了，愛上了，就是了。jus because u dun have e same feelings as pple doesn't give u e right to hurt pple... and bad mood is definitely not a reason to hurt pple, especially when pple came with e enthusiasm to show some concern... this is e most selfish act tat i totally disapprove of... be more compassionate, put urself in other's shoes e4 doing or saying anything bah... dun hurt pple, especially pple whom u should have nothing but gratefulness for... remember this, pple's parents bring him into this world not for u to hurt de...
可怜的ZC，默默的付出，只是想让DTF知道他的存在。但什么都不知道的他，只是想
关心DTF， 希望在DTF伤心烦恼时做他的忠实听众。却被DTF恨恨的在他心上刻了一
刀。
DTF在你心烦意乱时，不能伤害关心你的人哦！不如试试对你信任的朋友诉说你的心
事能？说出来也好过收藏在心里一直的胡思乱想好吧？
Hey.. whats happening? Suddenly to me dtf's attitude is realli changing.. Sometimes we find excuses for oursleves, is tat realli the ans u are looking for or its jus an excuse onli u would know.. anyway, dtf, be rationale? Why suddenly treat ah toot like tat. he may be bad, its ok if u dun like him.. but its like, u are not following ur heart! Dun vent ur anger on others ma.. haiz.. Wu lun ru he, must continue to jiayou k? i wish u realli be who u are the one who used to be simple and nice.. cheer up.. smile..
DTF, what may happen, will happen. So no point thinking too much about it. Just let it flow, keep yourself occupy by other things and Friday will come before you knew it. By the way, maybe you should also notice the people around you, why because of a guy, you missed out the rest?
omg! datoufen!! you so evil to ZQ! i bet he's really sad now. you reject him so harshly! sigh. maybe you should say sorry. you hurt his heart real bad.
DTF,
I think you'll react like this cos u still care of ah Toot... i remember vividly that you also dun really like him, when he was showing concern for u... just becos he has gf now, then only u realised how much you like him...
so dun hurt Zi Cong... remember how he smashed his bro's car when u were injured? do u think ah Toot will react that way too?
another thing is dun spoil the friendship with ur good frens even you are moody... cos they'll be with you during the ups and downs in your life...
Jia you...
DTF:
Quite surprised that you will be so impatient and inconsiderate. Always thought that you are considerate and mature but what you did today is very childish. Can't totally blame you, maybe you are still inexperienced when handling such matters, only 20 years old, and do not have lots of previous relationships.
In life, words spoken can never be retrieved, what is done has been done. It is weird that we cannot control our emotions at times and blast off at the wrong person, often someone who is the most innocent. I admit I do have similar "b;ast offs" at times. Now, knowing that you have hurt a lot of people, then you should be normal and not overly tensed. No point hurting your friends over some matters which you will get the answers soon.Hope that ZC will not be hurt too much.
Peifen:
Whoa! Today DTF is a bit abnormal, but we are human beings, not saints, we sometimes do things that we ourselves have no control over. I am sure Ah toot reappearance do cause DTF to be vexed and impatient. A simple incident yet you could write it so vividly as though DTF really existed. Especially like the last few sentences: 不够坚强，让得不到的爱情侵蚀脆弱的灵魂，自己完全变了样，却束手无策。不能继续沉沦。不能再让他霸占我的时间，我的心。 Thanks for the story.
some people may feel that dtf is too harsh to zhicong, but i feel that zhicong should have a limit too... sometimes guys just lack that sensitivity and persistantly pestering will cause the gal to feel upset and irritated.
take yi rong for example. altho i believe he has many unanswered qns abt dtf and ah toot, but he did not push his luck too far by asking her many questions. this kind of respect will win the gal's heart.
even if it was a gal pestering, you will feel the same irritance too... i believe dtf will tell dnb off if she keeps asking too....
maybe, this will let zhicong give up chasing dtf and maybe he will finally treat her as normal frens which will be better for the 2 of them.
On the other hand, this shows how important ah toot in dtf's heart. because of 1 stupid meet up, she gets totally affected by it. he better not hurt her in any way.
What is the truth will remain the truth!
It is an undeniable fact that Datoufen's head doesn't agree with her heart!
It is also an undeniable fact that the comments that I have made about these few people- _elly _ong or KK, _deline _an or AT, _ee _ing _ei or LTW and last but not least, _ndy _an or _an _im _uat AT or TKH, are true and fair, that explains why they did not take legal actions against me!
I wonder why is it so difficult to find a girlfriend that fulfils my criteria?
My criteria is very simple- not based on looks or figures but on inner beauty!
So far, 5 have failed!
While it is true that looks and figures are considered ‘bonuses’, they are not the decisive factors! Inner beauty is considered the basic fundamental!
In fact, out of the 5 who failed, one of them (who go by the initials KK and the name _elly _ong) was not bad-looking and has a figure that is not too bad either, but unfortunately, she has an ugly heart! She is cheap and shameless! Jian Huo!
It doesn’t matter whether you are driving a sports car or a saloon car, because when you are stuck in a traffic jam, it became a stationary car!
It doesn’t matter whether the girl has good looks and nice figure, because when she has an ugly heart, it is an outright failure!
Beside her, another two people were involved in this matter. They are the two ATs.
The first one (who goes by the initials AT and the name _deline _an) plays the role of supporter. Even if she were to lose her job one day, she won’t remain unemployed for long! There is a job which is most suitable for her, that is, being a griever (Xiao Nu)! Alternatively, she could also consider going to Geylang to work. After all, both jobs required the person being able to make noises!
A guy (who goes by the initials LTW and the name _ee _ing _ei) plays the role of supporter and instigator. He actively stir up the sentiments of the abovementioned person (who go by the initials AT and the name _deline _an), agitating the person to take drastic actions, effectively using the person as a tool to achieve his own selfish aims.
Wei Ji Wang Guo, Wei Le Nu Ren Da Zhong Guo!
The second one (who goes by the initials AT or TKH and the name _ndy _an or _an _im _uat) plays the role of supporter and instigator. He actively stir up the sentiments of the abovementioned person (who go by the initials KK and the name _elly _ong), agitating the person to take drastic actions, effectively using the person as a tool to achieve his own selfish aims. His nickname includes: Hao Dai, Si Hao Dai, Gon Da Tai, Da Tou Dai, Hao Lam, Si Hao Lam!
While a person could spend a lifetime with the person of his/her desire, he/she can’t spend a lifetime with a wild beast! Even if you are both registered with ROM and applied for a HDB flat, you should do the right thing and forfeit the deposit for the flat rather than choosing to spend a lifetime with a wild beast!
As for the wild beast, he will no doubt suffer a double loss!
What do you call that?
Pei Le Fu Ren You Zhe Pin!
Lose the Lady and the soldiers!
alotta issues here.
1st, dtf still duno what ah toot going to say. maybe it's nothing impt? just go for the dinner with a normal heart and take things from there.
2nd, i dun think dtf is too much to zc. sometimes, being kind to the person u dun like will onli give him the wrong ideas, and hurt him more in the end. jus leave him alone for now and apologise to him when he has gotten over it. anyway, i agree wif evelyn. zc shld be smart enuff to noe that dtf wants to be alone and give her the space she needs. he is asking for it i feel.
Hi
A very long time never write here. Been busy lately.
Just finish reading from where i stop.
Frankly i do love DTF and Ah Toot to be together. However if i am in ZC shoes. I will be very sad. This is one of the funniest thing in the world . No matter how much u love someone . There will be time that u will never be able to get the return. An advise for ZC. "Set her free including yourself"...
looking forward to fri. If ah toot chose you, will u give him a second chance?
cheer up bahx DTF dun so stress lers... face everying that comes your way the best that u can... sumtimes its realli not easy 2 forget sumone u love... face ah toot wif a open mind listen to wad he wants to sae...
also, about ur problem wif ZC, i tink that u shld leave him alone for the time being... allow him to cool down... and most importantly, do not give him false hopes...
JIA YOUX BAHX!!
U CAN DO IT DERE!!
被一个自己不喜欢的人过度的关心，大头芬的反应虽有不对但可以理解。志聪的确是有不实际的期望，不然就不会在看到大头芬和义荣一起回宿舍后就一直msn和sms大头芬，让她不胜其烦。所以虽然大头芬是失言了，但也不完全是件坏事。
大头芬说得对，不能继续沉沦了，time to regain control of your life.
hey im here again.. hahah
i agree with wat some ppl say here.
ZC shld give DTF some space and shld not pester her like this.
but even though DTF wants to reject him, she can say it nicely, instead of using these harsh words.
she can politely tell ZC tt she wants some space if ZC isn't 'sensitive' enough to noe that.
it can't be helped if some people are not 'sensitive' and do not noe some things.
it's part of their nature and character.
everyone is different and this makes them special.
so u can't just take YR as an example and set the same expectations on ZC.
so being 'not sensitive' is not ZC's fault
though i'll say tt he shld try to change for the better
Just wondering how many of us really put ourselves in DTF's shoes.
If I am at her age, with her character...I would probably face the same suituation.
But come to think of it, alot of chances is being lost because most of the time we took things for granted. It is not a matter whether DTF do it correctly or not but is to live with no regrets.
Who knows years down the road, you may even laugh at yourself for being so silly in the younger days.
Does everyone learn from it or just foolishly comment without giving it a full thought?
MashiMaro
瑞奇说:
我认为大头芬应该和 AH TOOT 说个明白！大头芬，你就给 Ａh Toot 一个机会好吗？就听听他要说些什么，在决定要不要在跟他继续交往，可以吗！今晚就跟他见面吧！
快乐就好了！
问世间，情为何物？这问题，是应该问的。人们为了情，什么事情都做得出来。唉，还是不要跟情扯上任何关系吧！还是单生好。
I faced the same situtation. I made him sad and angry.BUT... ... There is nothing i can do. My concern was rejected. I guess i should just leave him alone?
friday faster cum!!!!
hmm.. actually i can understand hw u feel...
i m nw experiencing sth same as u..
maayb tt is really love bah..
it really hrd to forget sum1 u once love deeply b4, 4get abt hating him too.. (u jus cant bring urself to hate him even though he betray u)...
will DTF get back with ah toot again???
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